That horrible feeling, it clouds the mind and numbs the senses to live. Whatever it was - no, whatever it is; it kills the spirit. We have to do something about this, you and I cannot go living under these circumstances, whatsoever! Whenever the feeling comes, consequently, the sky will suddenly turn grey and pitch black in a matter of seconds. The same street you used to walk through, now feels longer and twisted. I do not think that this will only happen to me; I’ve seen many people - writers, who recounted the same kind of experience, and most of them are Russians. I’ll list the ones that everyone knows well; Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Leo Tolstoy, and Mikhail Bulgakov.
So, what is this feeling? That is so horrible that a mind can only fathom 0.001% of it? It is a disease that took on many forms in Literature, music, and cinema. It makes the hand of a writer tremble as the disease starts to spread; each note pulled by the guitarist results in tears, and every shot by the director strikes the hearts of many. If it is a sign of fragility and weakness, why so that it is loved by many? It is profound. When doing this half-assed analysis of the thing, I could not help but notice that my toes were dipped from the beginning. I have also realized that (while writing this), I’d become the many.
The free man that we think we are, was not so free at all. For this disease does not see the color, age, religion, ideology, personality, gender, or physical features of a man. Hold us captive, kept us locked in the dark with no sense of humor and wits. In a sense, a mind full of freedom will be a prisoner to its vast and grandeur land; and an oppressed mind will be a prisoner to its tight walls and low ceiling.
Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air - the man looked upon the many ideologies of escapism offered in the book of religions and ritualistic endeavors. Resulting in a momentary joy that will soon followed by relapse. Certain and uncertained faith.
We are earthlings, and we have roamed the earth for as long as it spins. Each one of us living in a pack, and the other unpacked. We all lived to touch and to see.